There is nothing on TV

Seriously- nothing. The first time in my life I have cable- and nothing. Oh well. I have better things to do. Like watch this crazy huge cloud south of me glow in the setting sun and write. Bo is at a big show at the Wired Bean( where he works) and we havent found free bbsitting yet so here I am. On the porch with those loud bugs- very loud bugs- and the clouds. Jack has had a hard week. Challenge #1.His VBS week was not what the doctor ordered and yesterday I got the call. The call I never thought I would get with Jack. He had been crying for quite a while they said and wanted me to know. I picked him up early after playing and doing crafts with him and we came home. The only thing I could really get out of him was no one was mean to him he just missed me. Sweet I know but he never has done this before.It has always been 'Later Mom' to social events. Challenge #2. Nightmare. I know that you sitting there reading this just thought of the one you had or your kids have so I take this seriously. It is not that bad. It could actually be called a stall tactic when going to bed b/c he hasnt screamed himself awake yet. The one we talk about last night is the same on he described a few months back so I wasnt surprised when he told me about it last night. We got to sleep and slept all night so I thought that was over. Back to challenge #1. We talked a ton about the last day today and what we were going to do after and all the things he had learned and he seemed ready to go. At the door though big tears were pouring down his face. We pulled to the side and talked for a while. Here is a major conflict for me. A. push him through the door, wave good luck to the teachers and consider it a lesson learned? B. Let him leave with me and teach him that there is an easy way out. And it is easy. Well i dont know if this was right but we stayed in the room with him for a the first activity and based on that we left together. Boredom is not a good thing for Jack and that coupled with going from a good group of chaos in STL to not much chaos between the four of us here in SC to 18 other 4 year olds was too much. So did I win the challenge? Probably not. but for today it was fine. It will always be a challenge for me to know what stuff to sweat and what to let go. What is going to help him grow? Back to challenge #2. Bedtime tonight was the same fear. More elaborate but the same. So we pray together and I try hard not to say things like 'suck it up kid-sleep!' So after a while I have to go back and put Rob down Jack wants to talk some more about God. In his opinion God was too busy with the animals to help him. No, I said you are more important than the animals. Well than its raining and God is reading a book and doesnt want to help. No he is always with you. I dont see him. No, you have to trust Him. Than I ran out the door saying I love you and good night. I didnt want to explain trust to a four year old. So not so good at challenge #2 either. Oh well. we are working at it. The last two days have selfishly been nice reminders that I have a ton of work to do, I am not the only one who lost a community and you got to TRUST.